Ironic

It’s so sad and ironic

how some things we learn

are a bit too late.

It’s never really too late, of course,

but have you ever felt

that you can’t help but regret

the time wasted on

trying

wanting

hoping

to learn something you know now?

I could never appreciate

being alone

in my younger years.

It was a fear of sorts.

Whenever faced with the

opportunity

(danger? threat?)

of spending some time on my own,

I’d panic and look for ways out,

or ways to let someone in,

calling

texting

arranging

What wouldn’t I give now

for a taste of that

alone time?

On my own,

with my thoughts,

in my world,

in blissful silence,

or with music blasting,

on a lazy stroll,

or curled up with a book.

With no need to

ask and answer,

pretend and engage,

entertain or be entertained

I’m enough for myself,

if only feeling somewhat guilty

for avoiding my own company

for all those years.