The Girl Who Was Afraid

the little girl was afraid 

of darkness

of ghosts 

of death

of space

she grew and she learned 

learned to read 

learned to dream 

learned to be afraid of judgement and betrayal 

afraid of being second best 

she wanted to grow things 

trees and flowers and long hair 

she wanted to grow wings

it only worked in dreams 

she grew and she learned 

learned to rely on herself 

learned not to trust

to not turn her back 

to not show her tears

she wanted to create 

to write words that would stick 

in hearts and minds 

but by that time she was fluent in being afraid 

of not being good enough 

she learned to take care of herself and others 

mostly others

they always came first 

there was always someone to save

she kept dreaming 

but she stopped flying in her dreams 

she grew and she learned 

that things are not what they seem 

and people aren’t either 

every lesson brought a new scar

the fears changed 

transformed 

evolved 

she learned to be afraid of wasting time 

time was never enough 

just like her

she grew and she learned 

to be afraid of never actually growing 

of being stuck like a moth in amber

while life passes by laughing at her

the girl had her own kids now 

so she learned to be oh so afraid 

for them

every 

single 

day 

but she also finally learned to say no 

at least sometimes 

courage felt intoxicating

bubbling in her veins 

almost 

giving 

her 

wings

again 

she never liked what she saw in the mirror 

but every day she learned 

to keep that eye contact 

a bit longer

until one day

she didn’t turn away 

she looked at the reflection 

and said 

now I need to learn 

how to stop being afraid