Finding Strength In Your Weakness

LIfe is tough. Let’s admit it.

Each and every one of us is fighting battles of our own, and going through certain struggles that in most cases are not even visible to people around us. First of all, because we don’t like to share them. I mean, who wants to admit their weaknesses? Besides, we live in the time when it’s so important (and easy) to build a pretty-looking image of ourselves and our lives on social media. Right? We don’t post pictures of our messy houses or a sink full of dishes, we don’t post selfies featuring puffy eyes and messy hair after a sleepless night. 

We don’t go around telling strangers (not even friends and family in most cases) that we are going through depression, anxiety, that we are facing our deepest fears in our nightmares or maybe they’re haunting us in those few quiet moments that we get to ourselves. 

We want to be strong.

We need to be strong. 

We need to achieve goals, to meet deadlines, to tick boxes on our to-do lists, we need to be kind, positive, supportive, optimistic, full of inner light and neverending wisdom that we use to help others. 

We need to focus on the positive. 

We need to count our blessings. 

We need to beware of sharing our weaknesses so that people don’t use them against us. 

We need to be perfect humans.

Except we’re not. None of us. Even the most productive, successful, rich, enlightened, beautiful, handsome, smart, talented human beings are not perfect. For one reason only: they are merely humans. 

Flawed and weak. Annoyed and annoying. Silly and inexperienced. In the middle of learning or not even willing to learn. Insecure or arrogant. Cheerful or frustrated.

We all have one thing in common – we’re all making small steps along this path called life, sometimes blindfolded, sometimes with our hands tied behind our backs, sometimes stumbling while walking barefeet and sometimes driving a brand new Ferrari or maybe even equipped with a night vision device. 

We still rarely know where we’re headed, and how exactly we can get there. 

And it’s okay. 

It’s okay to fall, if you get up afterwards. And you know what, it doesn’t even have to be straight away, really. If you just wanna curl into a ball and lie there for a while, it’s also okay. 

It’s okay to cry, if you smile later. Not one of those fake “I’m-pretending-to-be-okay-when-I’m-dying-inside” smiles. A genuine smile that comes after your tears have cleansed your soul, and the world around you becomes colorful again (because it does, it always does) and you see a dog chasing its tail or hear a child laughing. 

Stop pretending to be a superhuman and just be yourself. Your beautifully imperfect, flawed,vulnerable, fragile …  wait, here it comes, that terrible insulting word … WEAK self.

Just don’t forget that you are surrounded by the same kind. All of them masking their struggles, swallowing their tears, faking their smiles. Ordinary human beings. 

And as soon as you accept and embrace your weaknesses, you’ll find your strength. It won’t stay forever. You will most definitely lose it again at some point. But if it stays with you even for a while, for a small part of the way, if it gets you off your knees and puts you behind the wheel of a Ferrari – it’s worth it.

The choices we make

I opened my plan for the week only to realize that it was the plan for the past week. 

I didn’t make a new plan for this week. 

And it’s already Thursday. Somehow. 

My first thought was, “I failed. Again. I keep trying to do everything right, but I never succeed.”

Of course I don’t. I never will.

The thing is, I can’t do everything right. Nobody can. And the sooner I accept that, the sooner I will start not only feeling better, but also actually getting things done.

Because getting frustrated over your own imperfections doesn’t lead you to perfection. It does, however, consume a lot of your time and energy. You know, the time and energy you could’ve spent on being productive.

If you forgot to do something, you have at least two options: 1. Go and do it now. 2. Don’t do it, but instead keep punishing yourself for forgetting about it. Looks pretty obvious, but the fact is, we tend to choose the second option more often than we think. 

My week wasn’t messed up because I didn’t make a plan. Sure, I might have missed a couple things, because plans really do help to keep track of everything that needs to be done. But I haven’t missed anything vitally important. I still got a lot done. The week isn’t even over yet, so I can still catch up on other things. And I can always write a new plan. 

It’s all about the choices we make. I can choose to see it as a “failure”, or I can say “Oops, I forgot to do it. Oh well, so what. Next time I’ll try to do better.” 

Imagine if we could make those choices in our interactions with other people. 

Your boss can remember that you are a valuable employee and treat you with respect and gratitude. Or he can choose to be a rude jerk, because he had a fight with his wife earlier and he’s in a bad mood. His choice. 

Your partner can focus on the love between you and all the good moments in your relationship, or hold a grudge because of something you said or did. Again, not your choice.

You smile at the lady behind the counter in a shop, wishing her a good day. How she responds to you is her choice. 

Wouldn’t it be great if you could make choices for all those people? If you could choose for them to treat you the way you want? The way you deserve? 

It would be pretty cool, I agree. But we know it’s impossible. (Which makes perfect sense, because, you know, free will and all that…)

However, it is very much possible when we deal with ourselves. 

You can choose to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. 

You can choose to be kind to yourself. 

You can choose to be supportive of yourself.

You can choose to be proud of your accomplishments.

You can choose to be understanding when you make a mistake. 

You can choose to be patient with yourself.

You can choose to be your own best friend.

Why would you even consider being anything other than that?