Our whole life, we carry something. And the older we get, the more our spines bend under the weight.
We carry bags full of shopping. School backpacks. Purses. Piles of textbooks. Suitcases. Boxes with our belongings as we move to a new place.
We carry our kids when they’re tired. We carry their backpacks, their toys, their scooters and skateboards.
We carry our pets to the vet clinic.
We carry guilt. Regrets. Nostalgic memories.
We carry self doubt. Grief. Fear. Anxiety.
We do carry our dreams too, but they are the lightest. They don’t weigh that much—so oftentimes they escape and disappear high in the sky like a balloon.
Our hands are rarely free of weight. Neither are our hearts and minds.
So sometimes we catch ourselves looking up at the birds roaming in the sky and a faint whisper of envy touches our souls. What would it be like, we wonder, to be so light and free? What would it feel like to soar among the clouds with no added weight?
Sometimes, we need to be reminded of things. Things that might seem obvious at first but we still tend to lose sight of them.
Wrapped up in our struggles, worries, and doubts, we forget the seemingly simple things that are, in fact, essential.
Important reminders can come from anywhere. Learning about someone else’s experience, facing a certain obstacle in our own life, or hearing advice from a friend. It’s up to us what we do with these little lessons. We can take some time to ponder their meaning and importance, or we can gloss over them and move on with our lives–only to be reminded of those things later in a different scenario. Because the Universe never gets tired of teaching us lessons.
One thing I noticed long ago was that I possess much more ‘wisdom’ when I give advice to someone. Listening to a friend and giving my input opens my eyes to things that I have been doing wrong myself. When I feel the need to help someone I find myself knowing and understanding things I forget when I face similar struggles of my own. That’s one of the reasons why open and honest communication and sharing your feelings and emotions with someone close can be highly beneficial–even life-changing.
And sometimes, the advice I gave to a friend comes back to me when I need it the most. Moments like that are precious. Again, the Universe works in intricate ways.
My upcoming release, Snacks for the Soul, a book of 100 friendly reminders for daily growth and personal empowerment, is a collection of bite-size reminders that can serve as your daily guide to living a more fulfilled and joyous life. It can be your companion for those moments when you need a gentle nudge towards the light. For moments when you’re looking for inspiration, comfort, or a reminder of your inner strength.
Most of the reminders I’m sharing in this little book–in fact, all of them–are reminders I need to hear myself from time to time. It doesn’t matter how many times you hear them. What matters is the moment when they really make an impact. The moment when you are ready to connect with them, embrace them, and take action.
So I figured that if they’re all compiled together in a short and simple-to-digest form, they will have the strongest effect. You can read it over and over. You can make notes and mark those pages that resonate the most with bookmarks/napkins/old receipts/colorful post-it-notes. You can write down your own thoughts on the pages. You can read it from the first page to the last, or just open the book on a random page when you feel like it.
And of course, you can share it with friends and loved ones. Because when we share–when we genuinely try to help someone–we learn our own lessons. I know it works for me. Give it a try. I’m sure it’ll work for you too.
I know you’re probably putting up a facade. You’re strong. Of course you are. Never doubted it for a second.
But how are you doing, really?
Have you been hard on yourself again? Have you been keeping track of all your failures instead of your achievements?
Are all those unticked boxes on your to-do list keeping you up at night?
Are you still letting people’s emotions and moods get to you?
I know. Me too.
But guess what — it’s okay. You’re not alone in this. Don’t be fooled by glamorous images. This is the raw, unaltered, behind-the-scenes reality.
What matters is, though—things can change. No, let me rephrase it. YOU can change things. You can change YOU.
There’s only one caveat. Change needs to bring you happiness.
You think it sounds selfish?
Not really.
Think about this: happy people don’t go around hurting other people. They’re too busy being happy. And it’s not part of their nature anyway.
When you’re genuinely happy, all you’re focused on is keeping up that vibe. Increasing the level of happiness—both IN you and AROUND you.
Everything that disrupts that vibration needs to go. So instead of bringing someone down, you’ll naturally be inclined to lift them up.
Which means that you being happy contributes to the overall level of happiness around you—and therefore, in the world in general.
Not all that egotistical if you think about it, right?
But the best part is, you don’t have to burden yourself with saving the world.
You can just save yourself first.
So back to my first question—how are you? Really? Are you happy? Fulfilled? Enjoying where you are, what you are, who you are?
What’s lacking? What’s missing? What can you do to change it?
Think about it. Give yourself a generous gift of your precious time and undivided attention. Focus on you. No one else can do this for you. Nor should they.
It’s your life. Your choices. Your responsibility—but also, your freedom.
As the year comes to an end, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the year’s wins and losses, and making plans for the future.
If we find time for that, of course.
The thing is, though, there’s always time. It’s more about finding the energy and mustering the courage to be honest with yourself.
Of course, you don’t have to. After all, it’s just a date on the calendar, isn’t it? Nothing magically changes overnight. No matter how much we would like it to.
Change takes time and effort. And whether the beginning of a new year is a big thing for you–or you couldn’t care less–it’s still a great time to sit down and reflect.
The end of the year can be quite an overwhelming time. When you’re overwhelmed and stressed, when you have a million things on your mind and your to-do list, it’s easy to end up feeling lost and confused. To miss the important part.
And by the important part I mean looking back and assessing what you have achieved. What this past year has taught you. Have you changed? Have you grown? Have you done anything you should be proud of?
First of all, you’ve made it through this year, with all the challenges and obstacles life keeps throwing at you. It’s already a big win. It’s a massive accomplishment.
But look deeper. Look at the details. Find a few minutes amongst the festive craziness to sit down and think. Pick up your notebook, or open your notes app on the phone. Start writing down the things you have accomplished. All of them, big and small. Don’t rush with the plans and resolutions. They’ll come later. Acknowledging what you want to change in your life is important, but it also means focusing on the things that you lack. That you “failed at” so far–in your own thinking. Start with the things that you have achieved first. You’ll be surprised. We tend to overlook these things. We take them for granted. They always come with a “but”, have you noticed?
“Well, yes, I did publish a book this year, but only one… And I haven’t finished writing my next one.”
“Well, yes, I did make some progress in my career, but I want more. This isn’t enough.”
“Well, yes, I did make some great memories of traveling/spending time with friends and family/reading good books/watching movies/going to concerts, but I wish I had done more. Seen more. Read more. Written more.”
I’m sure you’ll find these thoughts familiar. We always seem to focus on the things we want/need/haven’t accomplished/fear missing out on.
Except it doesn’t help. It’s the least productive thing to do. You can’t go back in time and change things. But you can make a plan for the future. A solid, detailed plan of actions you are willing and ready to take in order to achieve those goals.
But first, you need to acknowledge your wins. Contradictory to my favorite quote, “Don’t look back, this isn’t where you’re heading,” sometimes you need to. Sometimes, you need to look back and assess what you’ve done wrong and what you’ve done right. Doing that will help you with creating your plan for the future.
Look at what you have achieved and learned this year. Give yourself credit. See how much effort you have put in. It’ll show you how capable you are of achieving things when you are truly determined.
At the beginning of the year, I was terrified each time I was invited to do an author interview. I still did. But I never went back to watch them. It bothered me. So I made a decision to step out of my comfort zone. I started a podcast. Then I started a YouTube channel. Later in the year, I had an idea of making a series of videos with daily reminders. Things I myself need to be reminded of, from time to time. I spoke on podcasts. I’ve done several interviews on YouTube.
At some point, I felt deflated and discouraged. After constantly putting in a lot of time, effort, and energy, sometimes I feel like it’s not leading anywhere. I’ll be completely honest–I regularly think of giving up.
And that’s where I’m going wrong.
Whether my words reach thousands of people, or hundreds, or only a handful–they still matter. They can still make a difference. If I can help one person today–in one way or another–it’s already worth it.
And without a shadow of a doubt I know I have grown from this experience. I have overcome my fears. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I still don’t have thousands of subscribers–and I don’t know if I ever will–but I am proud of what I have achieved. I’m proud that I accepted my own challenge. And this is what I decide to take with me into the new year.
I haven’t published several books, learned a new language, or climbed Everest. I haven’t saved the world. But I created several new ones in my stories. I published the last novel in my fantasy trilogy. I wrote several short stories for my upcoming collection. I started writing poems. As of today, I’ve made fifty videos with encouraging daily reminders. I went to another city to see a concert by my favorite band. I listened to music, read amazing books, made new friends on different social media platforms, watched some breathtaking sunsets at the sea, and took thousands of photos and videos. I celebrated my little son’s fourth birthday, and in a few days, I’ll be celebrating my elder son’s eighteenth.
There are so many blessings, wins, achievements, and miracles in my life that I’m feeling overwhelmed when I think about it.
And this is a good way of feeling overwhelmed. It’s the right way.
Please find the time to reflect and count your blessings. Please celebrate yourself, your life, and all your accomplishments this year. And then–if you do decide to make New Year resolutions–you’ll be making them not from the position of lacking something or being unhappy with your life. You’ll be looking at what other incredible things you can do in your amazing–one and only–life.
Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. And don’t forget to be proud of yourself.
If you don’t grow; if you don’t change, or learn — what’s the point? You might as well be dead.
Learn from your wins and from your failures. Learn from everything and everyone you come across.
Push your boundaries. Stretch them. Eliminate them when needed. (You know I’m talking about you and your own boundaries here, right? Not about the other people invading them.)
If you can set any goal that you really want to stick to, make it a short-term one.
Easy and simple: Don’t wake up the same person you were yesterday.
Every subtle change you achieve in constructing the new version of you is a win.
Maybe, you learned to say ‘No’ when it was necessary. Or, maybe, you managed to be a little more patient and understanding than usually. Maybe, you learned a new skill, or at least took the first step towards mastering it. All these things make you a slightly different YOU.
Defeated your fear?
Or gained a new fear that you can now work on defeating?
This all means that you’re ALIVE. You’re breathing, growing, and changing.
And that’s what life is all about.
Ever watched “Groundhog Day”? Well, there is no “groundhog day.” Even the concept of the so-called “groundhog day” is a nightmare, isn’t it? The whole idea of the movie was to show us that we can CHANGE and LEARN and GROW. And only then life starts HAPPENING.
Going through life on autopilot isn’t living.
Embrace your life. Own it. Enjoy it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Not enjoying it? Do something to change it. Anything. Can’t change the circumstances? Change yourself.
Sometimes, one small change is all it takes. To set your life in motion.
And sometimes, you’ll need to put much more effort into it.
But don’t be intimidated by the ‘Everest’ you ‘have to climb.’
Focus on each step instead.
I can moan about 50-something subscribers I have on my YouTube channel, or my content not getting seen and appreciated enough. Not enough views/likes/comments. The algorithm hates me. How depressing… right?
Wrong.
Two months ago, the idea of going on YouTube would most likely give me a panic attack.
My books are still not on the bestseller list. Bummer. That’s definitely something to be frustrated about… right?
Wrong.
Tell that to the younger version of me who dreamed of writing books but never really believed it was possible… (until she finally did).
I took that step. And another one. And then another one.
I keep taking those steps every day, no matter what.
I decided to focus on my growth this year. I’m determined — when it comes to end of 2023 — to be a VERY different person to who I was at the start of the year. Is it because I was a “not-good-enough” person? Nope. It’s because I’m ALIVE and that means I’m changing, growing, and I want to experience this life to the maximum. I want to see what I can do. Or what I can learn to do. Or at least what I can try to learn to do.
See what I’m hinting at? It’s not about the result. It’s about the process.
Your life is what you are experiencing right now. What you’re doing/trying/learning/failing/succeeding at. Now. As you live it.
And this is what you should focus on.
Not the obituary someone else will read when it’s too late for you to add or change anything.
B. S. H. Garcia releases her debut novel, Of Thieves And Shadows, on June 1, 2023. It’s the first installment of The Heart Of Quinaria, an epic fantasy series.
I was among the lucky ARC readers who got to read this gem of a book before it’s released. To say I was impressed would be a huge understatement. And I’m beyond thrilled to have this opportunity to chat to this incredibly talented author about her books and her writing journey.
This is the best part of being in the writing community, by the way — meeting amazing people and having a chance to connect with them and talk to them about their stories, their fascinating worlds and characters, their dreams, and their writing life. Peeking into the magic of storytelling, essentially.
So I’d like to express my gratitude to B. S. H. Garcia for taking her time to answer my questions and revealing some of her secrets.
Let’s start!
Could you tell us a little bit about yourself, please?
Sure thing! I currently live in the PNW—Bend, OR, to be specific—though I’ll be returning to Colorado’s mountains within the year. So far, I’ve been 88% successful at keeping two tiny humans, two cats, and a smol doge alive, so I guess I’ve got that going for me. I like mead, movies, and mountains. Somewhat of a cosplay fanatic, thanks to my talented husbean (no, that’s not a typo). Books are life, obviously. I’ve only published fantasy, but I do intend to delve into sci-fi and horror down the road. If I’m not nerding out or lost in the woods during my once-a-month free time slot, I’m probably staring at the same page for an hour straight, debating if that’s a good place to indent a new paragraph.
Books are life. Couldn’t agree more!
How and when did your writing journey start? What is the thing you enjoy most about writing?
I failed at music and acting and moved on to the next best thing.
Just kidding.
I mean, the above are true. I had a stint in Hollywood and landed a stellar calculator commercial—don’t you dare look it up. Some of the small roles were fun, and so was theater, but the pressure proved to be too much for nineteen-year-old me. Walking into a room and being told no before you even start your lines is sobering.
After completing an English degree and deciding I did NOT have the patience to teach, I looked for other ways to utilize both my degree and my renewed interest in creating. I’d written off an on my whole life, including many short stories, but I didn’t sit down to crack out my first novel until 2018. It came surprisingly easy to me, but that’s probably because the story had already been kicking around in my mind for nearly a decade at that point. I had a recurring vision of a scene—what is now my last chapter of OTAS—and I had to get it out.
Coming back to the original question, storytelling is what got me into writing. I’d been making up and orchestrating stories in various mediums since I was a little kid, and writing soon followed. But I wasn’t one of those people who always wanted to be a writer. I wanted to be a creator, a storyteller. And I guess I’ve always been.
As far as what I enjoy most about it, that’s a bit harder to nail down. For one, it’s my primary form of creative self-expression. It’s also a way for me to process life and my place in it. What I didn’t initially expect and have come to enjoy, however, is the way writing connects me to people. I’m introverted and struggle to begin relationships, especially in my adult life. Writing allows me to be my most vulnerable self in ways I can’t in-person or through spoken word. Having someone reach out to you and let you know how much your story means to them is one of the best feelings out there. It’s this unspoken kinship between the author and the reader. And now it’s my favorite thing.
I know that feeling. It’s absolutely amazing! To me, that’s the best part of writing. And what’s the most rewarding part of being a writer for you? Also, what’s the most challenging part?
Again, having readers reach out to me is probably the most rewarding thing. I haven’t even released yet, but the handful of advanced reviewers who’ve gone out of their way to let me know they’ve enjoyed my writing means the world. I don’t think they realize just how much their positive feedback can affect a writer and help them keep going when the road gets tough.
On that same note, one of the most challenging things can be juggling negative or even critical feedback. Once the book is out of beta stages and ready for publishing, you can’t do much with negative responses besides take notes for future projects. I’m someone who could keep perfecting a story forever, so I’d say that just accepting something is as good as it’s going to get is hard for me. But I’m getting better at letting go, and hopefully I can learn to accept negative reviews without absorbing them or letting them drown out all the positive ones.
Oh, yes, I can definitely relate to that. The struggle with perfectionism is never-ending in my case.
Why did you choose to self-publish your books?
I think for a lot of indie authors, it’s about creative control. We want to decide which version of our story goes out, who edits it, have input on the cover, the release date, etc. I did query for a while and ultimately received an offer from a small press, but I turned them down after careful consideration. Aside from the creative control aspect, I didn’t feel comfortable signing over my rights. Unless you get a six-figure deal with a Big 5 press, I (personally) don’t believe they make you a priority, and so few authors even earn out their initial advances. I decided I was the best champion for my book. I wanted to be able to write all the stories in my series, guaranteed, the way I want, on the schedule I want, and hire the best cover designers and editors. I will admit that it’s been a learning curve. Some days I want to scream, trying to juggle it all. But the truth is the thing that frustrates me most is marketing, and that’s something I’d have to do even if I was trad published. It’s just part of being a creator in our world today. So far, I have no regrets about my decision, and I’m excited to see where my journey takes me.
There’s a lot to juggle. Trust me, I’m right there with you, screaming. And at the same time, it is the most exciting journey ever. It’s most definitely worth it!
Please tell us about your books! How did you come up with the idea of the fascinating world of Quinaria? How long did it take you to write your first book?
I briefly touched on this a few questions ago, but the whole idea began with a daydream. Ever since I was a child, I’ve played out stories and built characters in my head. As I grew and left toys behind, my initial vessels, I began to visualize characters in my mind instead. I’d often have my most vivid ideas occur on jogs or hikes. Something about my body moving allows my mind to free itself up. So, the idea for the story began by visualizing my MC, Elaysia, at a pivotal point in her life. It didn’t stand out to me at the time; it was something I did with many characters often. But she was one of the ones who never left. I continued on with my acting career, quit that, started a new career, got married, completed a college degree–all without writing my story. But when college ended and created a gap in my once homework-filled evenings, I decided to replace with something for me. Thus, Quinaria was born. I spent a solid month world-building every night and weekend, and it only took me two months after that to write a 120k story. It seems so crazy to me now, five years later, that it just poured out of me like that. Of course, I was in a different place with no kids and a mostly chill job. Then, between several moves, job changes, pregnancies, and births, editing was off and one for years after that. I wanted to give up so many times, and I actually tried to. I’d set my story aside for months and say, “this isn’t going to work for me,” or, “other people, better people, write.” But my characters never left me alone. So, it’s their fault I’m here today.
As far as the ideas for the world-building itself, a lot of that came from a place of selfishness. There were elements I rarely came across in reading that I desperately wanted in my story, and that led me down rabbit holes of research, which (I hope) translate into quite a unique and believable world. And while the initial world-building set the cornerstones of my first draft, I continued to expand upon that over the following years. In fact, I still do today. Every time I draft a new bit, I get a little deeper into my world. You don’t even want to see all my word docs, post-it notes, journal entries, and Pinterest boards. It’s a chaotic nightmare of world-building vomit. Ha.
Well, the mind-blowing level of world-building in your book definitely shows how much work you put into it! Also, I loved the characters! Who are your favorite characters? Anyone you can personally relate to, or maybe someone you have a lot in common with?
My characters are like my babies, and like a good mom, I love them all equally. At least, I’m supposed to say that, right? They all have a bit of me, which can’t be helped, I suppose. And I have so, so many. Epic fantasy club. I’m obviously partial to my POV characters. I’ve spent the most time in their skin. But there are plenty of secondary characters I can’t imagine the story without. See how I’m still not answering the question? If I had to choose, Zavik has a special place in my heart. He’s my little cinnamon roll. But the story wouldn’t exist without Elaysia. So, maybe them. I probably relate to them the most, too.
I love this. He is a cinnamon roll! And one of my favorite characters.
If you had a chance, would you like to live in the world you created?
This is a tough one. It would depend on when in my world’s timeline. Far enough back and in the right place? Sure! Where OTAS kicks off? I’m not sure I’d feel safe anywhere for long.
True. Not the safest place. On the other hand, neither is our real world these days…
As far as I know, you are currently working on book two. When can we expect it?
You are correct! Unfortunately, drafting has been sidelined while I prepared for launch, but I do plan to dive back in hardcore as soon as OTAS is out in the wild. Book two will (fingers crossed) release about a year from now. Given the scope of my stories and the limited time I have to write, I can’t commit to more than a book a year at this point. I am, however, hoping to release novelettes or short stories in between each main series installment, so you will have those to look forward to.
Given your circumstances I’d say it’s incredible you can do a book a year! But I must admit, I can’t wait. I miss the characters and have to know what happens next!
As a reader, what is your favorite genre, and what are some of your favorite books?
I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t say fantasy, right? Lucky for me, that’s true! I enjoy just about everything under the speculative umbrella, though, sci-fi and horror included. I also have a soft spot for classics, some historical fiction, and I actually love a good non-fiction, most often in the science, writing, or history categories. I really cannot begin to choose my favorite books. There are far too many. I can tell you that I’ve recently been reading some solid indie books (yours included!), and I’m turning to graphic novels when I need a breather in between large books.
Thank you, it means a lot to me. I also read (and aspire to write) multiple genres.
What advice would you give to aspiring authors?
Find a writing community or build one. This has been the single most important factor in my success and the only reason I’ve made it this far. Writing is solitary, the act itself, but the stress surrounding it doesn’t have to be. I don’t know what I would have done without all my writer friends. Their support, insight, and advice have made this dream a reality. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go it alone. Find your people.
Amen to that! I keep saying that it doesn’t have to be a lonely journey. And the support from the writing community is something I will forever be grateful for.
Last but not least… what’s your idea of a perfect writer’s day?
My dream day has yet to happen, but I imagine it would go something like this: I’d wake up in a cabin in the woods/mountains. Alone. Just me and nature. I’d stretch, brew some coffee, and go for a walk/hike. I’d return and write for a few hours, then break for lunch/snacks and some yoga. Write some more. Read. Read and write. Write and read. Go on another walk. Drink some wine. Read, write, self-care, repeat. This a dream scenario to me because I so rarely have time to myself like this. I may not even get that much writing done, but damn, it would be good for my soul.
I think you just described my perfect writing day. At least we can dream, right?
Well, this was an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for your time! I’m your number one fan, waiting impatiently for the sequel. Meanwhile, I’m wishing you all the success with your upcoming release!
Dear readers, I hope you enjoyed this interview. You can find B. S. H. Garcia here:
Sign up to her newsletter so that you don’t miss any important news!
And let’s once again take a look at this masterpiece:
Of Thieves And Shadows releases on June 1, 2023. You can preorder your copy now, and if you sign up to the author’s newsletter, you’ll also get a free prequel to this story, From The Ashes. It’s a beautifully written novelette that could be read as a standalone or as part of the series.
The most important part of the writing process is—don’t be surprised—actually writing. What’s even more important is beginning to write – if you’ve never really done it before.
If you have a story idea in mind, and you’ve always wanted to write a book, but never had the time, the courage, or enough motivation, hopefully, my insights will help you.
The most important thing is to start. To take that first step. Even if it’s just opening your notebook—or the notes on your phone—and jotting down your ideas.
Every writer has a different process they prefer and are used to. I can only tell you about mine. About what worked for me personally.
When I started writing my book, I had a 6-month-old baby on my hands. He’s now 3,5 years old, and if I’m honest, it leaves me with even less free time to do anything. And I mean, ANYTHING.
Maybe you have all the time in the world. Maybe you only get a few minutes to yourself at the end of a busy day. We’re all different, we have different circumstances and family situations, and that’s totally understandable.
But if you have the passion and the determination to start writing—believe me, there is always a way.
As you continue your writing journey, you’ll be discovering new things about yourself as a writer. About the writing process that works for you personally. Like, for example, whether you are a plotter or a pantser. You might have come across these terms before. Basically what it means is that plotters like to come up with a rather detailed plan for their story. Some may even have every single chapter plotted out before they begin. Pantsers – well, they just write by the seat of their pants and see where the story takes them.
And then there are plantsers—something in between. I believe I fit into this category, because I start out with a rough outline in mind (which I write down in my notes—and I highly encourage you not to skip this step), I have a basic idea of who my story is about, and what will happen in the beginning, middle, and end.
All the rest starts unfolding as I write. Including side characters, and all the adventures my main characters have to go on.
So here’s your step one. Think of an idea, have a brainstorming session with yourself (or your partner, friend, cat—whoever you find suitable for the role) and write it down. You can tweak it later. Don’t look for perfection. Just get it out there, and maybe even leave it for a day or two, so that you can come back to it later.
But then, at some point, you actually have to start writing. Again, don’t overthink and edit as you go. Let your creativity flow, let the ideas in your mind transform into words and sentences and get them on to that page (or screen—whatever you decide to use).
Here’s what I did. I started writing in my note app on my phone. Don’t recommend it, especially if you’re typing with one hand while holding a baby with the other. One wrong movement, and you end up deleting a chunk of your text with no undo button.
What I found more convenient later on was a Google Docs app on my phone. I still open a new doc for every chapter I write. It works for me, but maybe you’ll find it easier to have just one big document. Again, give it a try, play with it, see what works for you.
Now that you’ve overcome the fear of the blank page (if you had it to begin with) and wrote a sentence, or paragraph, or maybe a whole chapter, there’s a risk that you won’t continue. For whatever reason. You’re feeling insecure, imposter syndrome is attacking, or you don’t like what you wrote, or you just get wrapped up in everyday tasks and can’t find the time.
And then the inspiration and the motivation you had in the beginning start to dwindle.
This is the most dangerous part.
Don’t let this happen to you.
What you need at this stage is to create a habit. Consistency is extremely important in writing. To keep yourself motivated, to perfect your skill—you need to keep writing.
One piece of advice: don’t set unrealistic goals. Don’t compare yourself to others. You might see someone sharing that they write 2000-3000 words every day, or even more, you’ll feel like it’s unattainable for you, and you’ll be tempted to give up.
Don’t do that. You do you. It doesn’t matter how many words you write every day or week. What matters is that you write consistently. Work out a schedule that works for you. Can you do 500 words a day? Awesome. Only 100? Still awesome. Can’t write every day? Give yourself days off. Write 5 days a week, or 3 days a week. Things change. Figure out what works for you at this particular moment of your life, and stick with it for now. You just need to get going and form a habit of writing. Maybe it will mean that when you have a few free minutes to go on your phone, you’ll type a couple sentences instead of scrolling social media, checking your email or the weather forecast. Stuck in a traffic jam or waiting for an appointment, or to pick up your kid from school, sporting event, etc? Type or dictate some ideas for the chapter you’re working on. You’ll be amazed at where this can take you when it becomes a solid habit.
At the beginning of my writing journey, I started publishing my chapters on Wattpad. Later on, I changed my mind and decided to just finish the book and self-publish it. But I want to mention that I’m grateful for Wattpad. It gave me exactly what I needed at that point – discipline and accountability. Something I needed to gain the momentum and to create a habit. I set a schedule for myself, and even though I didn’t have hundreds of followers waiting impatiently for my next chapter – I knew, myself, that I had a deadline to meet. A self-imposed deadline. And it worked.
At some point I dipped, though. Life got a bit too crazy—as it tends to—and I missed a month or two of writing. What saved me was finding an accountability partner—a writer friend on Instagram—who was in a similar situation. We decided to encourage each other and let each other know every day how our writing was going.
It made a huge difference. For a couple months, I was writing every single day, and even marking the number of words for each day on the calendar. It was a new habit, a new routine, and it also made me feel proud of myself.
And guess what – that’s exactly how I finished my first draft.
Which leads me to the next important point. Find a supportive community. Don’t hesitate to reach out to other writers. Connect with them. Engage. Learn from them and share your experience, your struggles, your successes. Every author out there had to start somewhere. They’ve all been exactly where you are right now. You can learn a lot from others, and just being a part of a community of like-minded people can take you a long way. I have met amazing people and so many talented authors in the writing community, and I’m so grateful for them. Of course, at first I felt insecure and unsure. Felt like I don’t belong. Like, “All those awesome people out there are authors, and they know so much, and they have books published… Who am I? What do I bring to the table?”
Does it sound familiar? Trust me, I know how that feels. My Instagram account used to be dedicated to jewelry making—which is what I was doing for about a decade. When I started writing, my feed changed completely, because I started following writers and authors. I started searching for writing-related discussions on social media. There are a lot of writing groups on Facebook. There’s an awesome writing community on Twitter—I came to that one later on in my journey, but I’m really glad I did. Whichever platform you prefer, you can “find your tribe.”
If you want to become a writer, you need to be a writer. You need to feel like you’re a writer. And constantly remind yourself of that. Because guess what, if you’re writing, you ARE a writer. It’s that simple.
Start taking your writing seriously. Start taking yourself seriously. I don’t mean give up your day job right now or move to a deserted island with only a notebook and pen. You don’t really have to sacrifice anything if you want to let something new in. Well, you might need to sacrifice your habit of procrastination, if you have one. But what can I say… good riddance, right?
Again, it’s not about how many hours a day you dedicate to it. Not about how quickly you can write a book. It’s about making yourself comfortable in this new role, and giving it importance – maybe even priority. It’s about the process, not the result. The result will come, trust me, if you have the right process and the right mindset in place.
So in a nutshell, here’s what you need to do if you decided to start writing.
You need to come up with an idea, and you need to start. And stick with it. Make it into a habit. Welcome this change into your life, and embrace it. Look for support and motivation from others, but don’t rely on that fully. It’s your story. It’s your journey. You are the one who needs to believe in yourself first of all. There will be battles ahead—with self doubt, insecurities, and imposter syndrome. Prepare yourself for that by becoming strong and empowered through your own self-belief.
It might seem scary at first, but trust me, finding the courage and following your dreams is worth it. Give it a try. Start writing your story.
How often and how easily do you take steps out of your comfort zone?
I haven’t set any resolutions at the beginning of 2023, but I decided where my focus will be this year. Or my “word of the year”, as people often put it.
GROWTH
Which means constantly learning and evolving. Trying new things, welcoming new opportunities, gaining knowledge, skill, and experience. In all areas of my life. Writing, self-awareness, parenting, interacting with other humans around me.
It will most definitely involve making tons of mistakes, tripping and falling, but also getting up and giving it another try.
Because growth is painful. Growth forces us to leave our cozy comfort zone and go out there. To overcome stuff. To face our fears. To push aside our insecurities and self doubts—all that baggage we keep lugging around wherever we go. Mine’s awfully heavy, to be honest. I really need to get rid of that stuff.
So why am I telling you all this?
Because yesterday I took a huge step out of my comfort zone and started a podcast.
I’ve never tried it before and I feel terribly anxious. I want people to hear it, and I’m also terrified they will actually listen to it. I didn’t even want to share it on social media at first.
So today I’m taking another step out of my comfort zone and telling everyone about my new podcast.
It’s called Dreams, Books, and Miracles. I’ll be talking about writing and reading. Sharing parts of my writing journey and hopefully encouraging someone to embark on their own. Talking about books I enjoyed and talented authors I keep meeting in the writing community. And about how important it is to follow your dreams and overcome your fears.
If you check it out, I’ll be thrilled (terrified, of course, who am I kidding, but still thrilled!) to get some feedback. Comment, or send me an email, or suggest something you’d like to hear in the future episodes — whatever you have to say means a lot to me and supports me on this journey.
And if you’re also thinking of starting something new and taking that first step out of your comfort zone—I’m rooting for you. You can do this. You’ll be so proud of yourself for giving it a try. Go ahead, open that door and step over the threshold. Good luck!
Author Elena Carter 